All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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