someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
