she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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