I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Randomize
