Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
