If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
PANTIES FOUND
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
