There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
