I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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