What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
