dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
