sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
