the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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