Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
