An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
