the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
