wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
they need to just BURY HIM!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
