Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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