you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize