Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
