I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
