those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
