There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
