Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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