youre lurking in front of me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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