You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
