I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
