You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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