And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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