love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
