mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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