I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
