Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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