Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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