Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
