I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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