Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
