i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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