I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Screwed.edu
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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