Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
