he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
