You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
