And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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