I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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