Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think my fart just growled at me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
