Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
