Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
