Nicole vs. Life
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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