i think i have herpe
just one?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
