Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
