Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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