I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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