Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
