Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
