On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
