I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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