That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
