It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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