Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
