i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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