I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
