her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
