I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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