Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
