dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
