I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
