I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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