i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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