Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
