In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Randomize
